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Don't Ignore the Warning Signs of Losing Yourself in a Relationship

| TJ Gibbs |

Have you ever lost yourself in a relationship to the point that loved ones had difficulty recognizing you? It can happen.

Losing yourself because of your close relationship with someone is dangerous and unhealthy.

Pay attention to these warning signs before you’ve gone too far for your loved one:

  1. You’re unhappy but scared to say it. One sign of an unhealthy relationship is that you’re unhappy but too afraid to mention it to your partner.
  • Being unhappy during a relationship is common, and it often occurs after an argument or other major event. However, if the unhappiness lasts for weeks or months, it’s a warning sign. 
  • You want to be able to talk about your feelings freely, so not being able to share them shows that you’re losing yourself.
  • The fix is to calmly and kindly address the unhappiness with your partner. Avoid blaming them or using guilt. Instead, focus on how you want to improve the relationship and how you can move forward.
  • You give in to all of their demands. From changing your work schedule to please them to never cooking your favourite foods because they don’t agree with them, it’s easy to fall into the trap of always meeting their demands. However, this is a big warning sign that you’re losing yourself.
  • Compromise is a normal part of a healthy relationship, but it has limits.
  • If your identity and other things that make you unique are disappearing in the relationship, then it’s no longer healthy.
  • If you’re always giving in, it may be a way to cope with the partner and keep the peace.
  • Unfortunately, this means that your own dreams and wishes get left behind. You may start to lose everything that makes you special because you don’t want to upset the other person or make them angry.
  • You indulge in distractions. Watching television or checking social media can be a fun distraction. A small amount of these things is fine, but living in a distracted world is unhealthy.
  • Do you indulge in distractions to avoid thinking about your relationship?
  • Distractions can range from watching too many shows to reading tabloid magazines. They vary from person to person, but you can recognize them in your own life.
  • Many distractions are used to avoid thinking or dealing with difficult situations.
  • Your own goals and dreams are gone. Do you look at your current life and feel like you’ve lost all of your passion or dreams?
  • Each person has specific goals, dreams, and passions that make them unique. It’s your greater vision that inspires you to get up and move forward.
  • However, if you’ve lost yourself in a relationship, your dreams and goals can disappear.
  • You may be pushing your own dreams down to lift up your partner. You may also feel that there isn’t room in the relationship for your dreams or goals. However, your dreams can’t take a backseat forever.
  • The reasons for ignoring your wants and goals may include fear of upsetting the other person. You may also want to get their approval, so you may be afraid to share things that they may not like or agree with completely. 

Heed these warning signs that you’re losing yourself in a relationship. If you feel like your own identity is getting lost for the sake of your partner, try to work out some new ways to communicate with each other. If you’re struggling, couples counselling may provide a solution.

Thanks for Visiting TJ's Blog

Articles that TJ writes for Life & Love cover all steps in the cycle of love and include tips and advice for many dating or relationship issues. Her experience as a Love Therapist, Love Coach and Life Coach bring a real-life approach to everyday situations.

Remember life is for loving – that includes yourself!

Tj x


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