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Change Is Inevitable But Growth Is Optional

| TJ Gibbs |

I remember, whilst growing up, my mum telling me that numerous aches and pains I was feeling (and hence should be excused from school) were simply growing pains!

As our body transforms itself from being 2 ft to in my case not much more than 5ft,  growth and transition is inevitable. Puberty is the ultimate example of how transforming from a child to a young adult can be uncomfortable, destabilising and hard to conceive when you might feel “normal” again.

Though we may experience growth spurts both physically and emotionally, most change does not happen in a magic moment.  It is transitional and transformational over a period of time, with specific periods where things are harder than others.

Many actors and music artists appear to have “made it” overnight as they are launched into our eye line yet they have honed their crafts out of the public eye for decades before recognition.  In our current culture, many are attracted to what is available instantly in areas such as food, dating, finance, work, recognition and acceptance.  We see examples such as Justin Beiber where celebrity status was merely a click away and Britney Spears who was granted her dreams so young. As the saying goes “be careful what you wish for or you might get it” . Many an artist thrust into the limelight are simply not prepared for what is to come from being famous.

41ZT2ont5DLI remember distinctly the singer Leona Lewis when she won British television talent show,The X Factor.  She was hailed to be the new Mariah Carey overnight and then promptly disappeared from our screens.  Simon Cowell, the music mogul, knew what he was doing when he took her away from the limelight allowing her to explore and grow her craft.

Twelve months later Leona released “Bleeding Love” which reached number one in 34 countries, and was the biggest-selling single of 2008 worldwide. Her first studio album,Spirit (one of my personal favourite albums) went on to become the fastest-selling debut album of all time in the UK. Change for her came overnight but her transformation to greatness came over time.

Many move through dating and relationships, and sometimes life, in a trance. Accepting change as it happens and not knowing what they really want. Accumulating emotional baggage that they then take to the next encounter, without taking time out to reflect on how the change can get them ready for growth to move them towards happiness.

When it comes to dating and love the instant gratification that comes (for some) from “Ludus Love” , the ‘Netflix & Chill’ concept of no pressure, fun interactions, that are about passing time rarely leading to connection or growth, are common place in the online dating culture.  Both men and women partake in this love style yet few of my clients are actually happy with this instant form of connection and hook up. Many are not prepared for the feelings that might occur either of love for the other or of feeling a lack of love for themselves from these transient interactions.

Eros love is another love style that attracts a high amount of dopermine and causes a buzz that can only last a few months before the mundaneness of every day life interrupts its fantasy.

There then comes a time. like many of Life & Love clients, where the Soul gets tired of meaningless encounters, unfulfilling work, unhealthy food and lack of direction and simply gets sad..some would call this depression.

revealChange is inevitable, it's something that happens to all of us, but growth is truly optional. Growth requires time out to analyse how the change can help or hinder the journey towards love and happiness both for oneself and others.

Here at Life & Love, like Leona, over the last 12 months we have taken a step back from our momentum of growth in order to transition and change the direction that we felt we needed to take our services to ensure we effectively help more people worldwide heal and get ready for the love that they wish for.

The launch of our new brand and website ( is the outcome of a slow and yes sometimes painful period of growth that has allowed us to transform and optimise the delivery of our love changing services.    

If change is happening without your permission or you simply know it is what is required to improve your happiness with work, health, love or purpose, ensure that you are open to the transformational growth, know that it will include growing pains, and get ready for your own personal transition to a you that is ready for that which you wish for.

L&LWheels 01If you are struggling to understand in which areas you may be in a trance re your growth towards peace and happiness you are invited to take Life & Love free personal assessment via our Wheels Of Love and Life. You don’t have to be a client to find out your personal happiness ratings and receive feedback on your journey to transforming into the happier version of you.  

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Thanks for Visiting TJ's Blog

Articles that TJ writes for Life & Love cover all steps in the cycle of love and include tips and advice for many dating or relationship issues. Her experience as a Love Therapist, Love Coach and Life Coach bring a real-life approach to everyday situations.

Remember life is for loving – that includes yourself!

Tj x


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